Tracing the Negotiations between Travel and Self-discovery: A Critical Reading of the Selected Poems of Amitabh Roy’s “Voyage to Santorini”

Abstract

Travel is a way of self-discovery. It is through travelling, one can escape from the crude and quotidian lifestyle with which he or she does not like to live. When one travels, he or she discovers new cities and countries, new people and their culture, new tastes and smells. But first of all, he or she discovers himself or herself. In this fleeting world, one begins to understand who he or she is and why he or she is, what stereotypes and limitations live in their head. We do not get what we sincerely crave for; we are denied of the fate that we dream; we meet sudden curves which we consciously want to bypass. We are bound by shackles; be it norms, institutions, traditions or societal inhibitions. We may dream of a life in Tahiti, or beside Walden; but we cannot leave behind this concrete jungle for reasons innumerable. Modern human fate is nothing but a conspiracy to entangle us by luring with one after another luxury only to forget our coveted desire. A true adventurer in nature, Amitabh Roy’s “Voyage to Santorini”, a collection of mainly dark poems, are constructed from this backdrop of realization. The poems breathe free in global locale, from Greece and Turkey to Indonesia or Malaysia. Let us now critically discuss some of the poems in this collection while taking into account the negotiations between travel and self-discovery. 

Keywords: escape, self-discovery, travel, dark poems

Travel is a way of self-discovery. It is through travelling, one can escape from the crude and quotidian lifestyle with which he or she does not like to live. When one travels, he or she discovers new cities and countries, new people and their culture, new tastes and smells. But first of all, he or she discovers himself or herself. In this fleeting world, one begins to understand who he or she is and why he or she is, what stereotypes and limitations live in their head. We do not get what we sincerely crave for; we are denied of the fate that we dream; we meet sudden curves which we consciously want to bypass. We are bound by shackles; be it norms, institutions, traditions or societal inhibitions. We may dream of a life in Tahiti, or beside Walden; but we cannot leave behind this concrete jungle for reasons innumerable. Modern human fate is nothing but a conspiracy to entangle us by luring with one after another luxury only to forget our coveted desire. A true adventurer in nature, Amitabh Roy’s “Voyage to Santorini”, a collection of mainly dark poems, are constructed from this backdrop of realization. The poems breathe free in global locale, from Greece and Turkey to Indonesia or Malaysia. Let us now critically discuss some of the poems in this collection while taking into account the negotiations between travel and self-discovery. 

The poem “A Day in Bali” takes place over the course of a single day in the life of the poet who has just reached in the province of Bali. From an overall outlook, the poem may look like a common travelogue describing the experiences of and places visited by the traveller-poet and also informing the readers about the places, landscapes, cuisine and culture that Bali has to offer much in the fashion of ‘consumer culture’ which focuses on the spending of customers' money on material goods, tours of expensive destinations for recreation, relaxation and pleasure to attain a luxurious lifestyle in a capitalist economy. But surprisingly, in spite of its beautiful setting in Bali, the poem hardly offers any visual of the spectacular places of the province. Rather, it mostly chronicles the poet’s frequent engagement in partaking of various foods and drinks famous in Bali like Balinese breakfast, Starbucks coffee with choco powder, Nasi Goreng, cocktail and dessert. 

In this poem, we find a brief mention of the poet’s beloved who he says is available in a software application called ‘Skype’, which may imply the gap or remoteness of their relationship. However, in spite of not being in close proximity to him, she is “not very far” according to the poet which sounds much ironic. The poet is a solo traveler here and it seems that he wants to enjoy his own company as long as he can. Suddenly, he tries to recall what he calls his “unforgettable” memory at the ‘Beach Walk Mall’ of this very province which keeps pestering him. The optimistic tone of the poem suddenly wanes. The readers now can assume that the poet had come to this province before when something bad and unexpected happened to him and that is what he still cannot forget. Although the poem does not disclose the incident the poet’s beloved might have something to do with it. Maybe the poet had previously come to this place along with his beloved and the incident then followed is the reason that he is no more with his beloved. Maybe he is a jilted lover who now travels only to forget his pain and discover himself anew and find peace in his life. 

As with many Amitabh Roy’s poems, “Dispersed Identity” is noted for a few stylistic and thematic aspects which earn it a postmodern status. The poem deals with themes of indecisiveness, dilemma, loss, hopelessness, restlessness, futility, modern human fate, meaninglessness or lack of reality, and frequently demonstrates the speaker’s existential point of view. The poem is difficult to read and understand as it is mainly based on the thoughts or words of the speaker which serve to remind the reader that he or she is outside of the poem and only seeing what the poet wishes him or her to see. The poem even mocks the reader’s attempt to create meaning from the work, and reflects the separation between the poet and the audience.

As the title itself suggests, the speaker of this poem may have Dissociative Identity Disorder, also called Multiple Personality Disorder which is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states. The poem begins with the speaker talking to his split personality or alter-ego about the prospect of travelling much in the style of dramatic monologue. The thoughts, actions, and behaviors of these two personalities are completely different. The speaker says to his alter-ego that though physically, corporeally and spatially they live in immediate vicinity of each other, their ways of living differ to a large extent as if “nine lightyears”. There is a constant communication gap or misunderstanding between the speaker and his alternative personality which makes their relationship “bold”. Here, the word “bold” does not mean that their relationship is a strong and profound one but rather it denotes the fact that there are a lot of problems such as miscommunications and misconceptions in their relationship or bonding. Although the speaker says he does not care whether his split personality scolds him or not for his idle, timid and puritanical nature. The speaker seems to be an introvert who is unable to express what he actually wants to do and means to say. So he can only wait like a fool for his inner soul to utter for him. He suffers from acute indecisiveness just like T.S. Eliot’s Prufrock. On the other hand, his alter-ego is a frivolous person who loves to live his life in a hurry. He is a travel maniac who loves pace more than anything else. And the speaker is a self-possessed homebody. The speaker is static and poised while his alter-ego is of a dynamic nature. Their conflicted nature can be likened to the duality between the figures of Apollo and Dionysus from Greek mythology.

The speaker says that he is a narcissist and unlike his counterpart he cannot just live his life in travelling. He does not want to go with the wind as a travel freak does. Here, the “wind” symbolizes direction, movement, travel, change and flow of life. There is an essential relationship between a traveller and the wind. They are like potential competitors of each other. The speaker says a traveller moves so fast corresponding to the wind that even a storm chaser would not be able to distinguish or differentiate the velocity of the wind from the tempo of a traveller’s life. A traveller always keeps going in his life and never looks back on things that have happened in the past because he thinks that it is impossible for anyone to rewind his or her life. According to a traveller whatever is gone, is gone forever. So everyone should accept and enjoy life as it is.

The speaker confesses his inability to express his love for things he really wants to do in his life. This inability is the reason he has all the mourning stored within him- unshared, unresolved. On the contrary, his split personality has no time to mourn over his unattainable things. In fact, the speaker’s alter-ego has no mourning at all. Because unlike the speaker, he does not sit in isolation and think of things beyond his control to fix. After reaching one destination, his alter-ego like other travellers again takes another journey and acclimatizes himself to the place accordingly. And this process goes on. This is why a traveller has dispersed or multiple identities because he never stops at any point of his life from discovering himself. 

The poem “Reaching Beyond” explains to us that life is an unending race with no particular destination to reach. Nevertheless, we should always move forward in our life. Although there are a lot of difficulties, uncertainties and complexities in our life, we should never give up on ourselves and always keep going. We are not supposed to compromise our pace of life with the eternal shackles; be it norms, institutions, traditions or societal inhibitions which subjugate or subdue us at every single moment and try to break us apart from our goals. Rather we have to accept and embrace them because they actually make us stronger to face any kind of challenges in life. We need to keep in mind that life is not a cakewalk. We may face many troubles in life but we should not stop anywhere and always get going with a view to reaching beyond. It is a truism that “A life without challenges is not only a life not worth living but also a life devoid of meaning”.

The speaker of the poem is confident enough that he is on his way to reach beyond-beyond his known periphery inhabited by ‘irritating’ homebodies. He has the courage, determination and perseverance to reach his goal at any cost. The idea of reaching beyond has really made him crazy. Though he is unaware of his reaching point, he does not want to leave the battlefield like a coward. He only knows he has to go beyond as per his commitment just like the character of Ulysses in Alfred Tennyson’s poem of the same name is defined by his determination- “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.” The poem ends with the speaker assuring us that he has finally reached beyond the “desired den” but he is not going to stop until he takes another journey. Here, Robert Frost’s words appear relevant: “But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.”

To conclude, however, though on a surface level there is no conspicuous mention of travel in each of these poems except “A Day in Bali”, there is an immense urge on the part of every speaker to ‘set themselves free from the social norms’ and discover a new identity in a transcendental world. This is the message that the poet wants to convey to the readers all through his poems. It is through all his creative endeavours the poet’s creative spirit and his desire to break free from traditions are beautifully expressed.